Turning 40: 40 Things Every Woman Should Have & Should Know*

By 40, you should have …

  1. The ability to tell your father that you love him and you’re sorry in the way that only daughters can be sorry for breaking his heart.
  2. A passport, even if you’ve never used it.
  3. A wallet that isn’t hot pink, glittered, or forgettable.
  4. A go-to pair of glasses that make your face look entirely fuckable.
  5. Black underwear that hugs your curves in and out of clothes.
  6. More books than you can count, and the time to read at least some of them.
  7. A sex toy that makes you feel really, really good.
  8. A few regrets that have become lessons.
  9. 400+ count sheets. Ideally in a color that flatters you.
  10. A smart, efficient, effective way to handle stress.
  11. A relationship with an animal that makes your heart sing.
  12. A relationship with a person that does the same.
  13. Good scissors.
  14. Fuck-me-pumps in red, black, leopard or white.
  15. Great walking shoes in a color other than white.
  16. An email address that does not include the words mommy, cutiepie, babe or gram.
  17. A fantastic photo of you that flatters your assets and that doesn’t include your children, a duck face, a fishbowl-sized drink, or your nipples.
  18. Bunny ears.
  19. Fun.
  20. An identity that is wholly and truly yours.

By 40, you should know …

  1. How to fix the things that matter to you.
  2. Where your loved ones are.
  3. How to say, “I was wrong,” without being an ass.
  4. How to say, “You were wrong,” without being an ass.
  5. What your heart says, and how to listen to it.
  6. How to ask for what you want in bed. Or in the kitchen. Or in the car.
  7. Who you’re going to vote for in the presidential election.
  8. How to play well with yourself and with others.
  9. That your body is beautiful and strong. That your mind is too.
  10. That both are equally important, but that neither lasts if you don’t use it.
  11. The steps for opening your heart to another person, fully and without reserve.
  12. The recipes for at least two desserts and at least one meal that nourishes you heart and soul.
  13. How to tell someone to fuck off while keeping your grace and dignity.
  14. How to ride the bus, ride a bike, and ride the rides that you must be this tall to ride.
  15. How to be adult-like on the internet.
  16. How to be child-like in the real world.
  17. That a conversation involves two people and that shutting up and listening is part of being a good conversationalist.
  18. That perfectionism is a boring party guest.
  19. That death happens. Have a plan for the loss of loved ones and give them a plan for the loss of you.
  20. How you’re going to make this the beginning of the best half of your life.


*Title and idea taken from this HuffPost article.


Image taken with iPhone while baking sugar cookies.
Words written after Molly Moon’s ice cream sundaes, before daydreaming with popcorn.
Time Taken 9 minutes.
Brain on joy, joy, joy.

note: All poems for the month of April are memoir poems in the form of lists

This entry was published on April 25, 2012 at 8:36 pm and is filed under April, Poems, Seattle, Self-Portraits. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “[102]

  1. oklandon on said:

    Poignant. And a reminder of lovemaking-induced knee and elbow burns from cheap sheets from long ago!

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